POPCORN CHRONICLES

When it rains it floods

2007-10-07T17:49:00.000-07:00

Funny the title is, not really. Supposedly when it rains it pours, yes it does but sometimes it leaves more, flood waters that you are forced to wallow in.

I'm in the middle of a tremendous change. Work, then a little tampuhan sa bahay kahapon, things that I can usually handle. However, this one will leave a mark, this one will leave flood waters that will take forever to empty.

I will miss you my dear Kirbie, my faithful pal, my baby and my pet. Unfortunately, I lost the life of my beloved miniature schnauzer around midnight. Totally unprepared for it, totally surreal. We never made it to Makati Dog and Cat Hospital at Rockwell, he had a seizure just when we got off the cab and that was his last breath, his little heart stopped beating and we tried to revive him, the vet tried to, but no use. Life is so short, just early in the morning he was frolicking around the yard, got a lil sick but would still follow me everywhere around the house, then tragedy strikes he was just 3 months of age. I will miss my lil' furball, its my fault too you know, should have been there always. However, he will remain in my heart and my remaining dogs will forever be loved.

C'est la vie!

2007-10-07T01:31:00.000-07:00

Change as they say is the only constant thing in life. As the pages of my favorite comicbook says, "The Phoenix burns what does not work." So I choose to evolve than be judged and burnt. I wish that it was as simple as that, but no. You know what happens when you feel linked and connected to people? You start to open up care and make sure that they are well off. In this case it is my turn to give back.

I love and respect the people that I have worked with in TQA-Outbound and as a way of honoring that, I'm trying to be a solution. To avoid bringing down scrutiny and unfavored justification, I volunteered to leave to provide balance. Though it pains me I know this decision can halp save a ship full with people that matters to me.

A respect to a mentor and a teacher who have taught me a lot and believd in me. So as to not force his hand to relieve anyone or make amore heart wrenching decision, especially delivering such a world shaking news.

Knowing that this dynamic group could survive in the harshes of weather. I know that my abscence can prevent further weathering, makes me proud of this decision. I know they still have their heart.

I pray that they will thrive and grow once more and perhaps when the time is right or when they can once again can spread their branches and deepen their roots I could return. That is something I look forward to.

Again, what is a telenovela without the kontrabida, right? I pride myself with being the anti-hero. However, with the messages I received lately, I'm surprised that I did touch lives and left a mark.

I miss you guys and I will see you soon. Good Bless and forget me not.

This time around..with conviction

2007-06-26T23:33:00.000-07:00

I don't know if I'm just unlucky or is it that I'm lucky that I'm a magnet for disaster. Things that I ponder, its just now that I believe you can't have everything. Now that I'm ready for changes and now that I'm willing to change, things happen so fast, amazingly in a flash, today you have everything the next moment the one of most value to you drifts away.

Its not hard to explain it, it is my fault, no questions about that. It was just a few days ago I have put everything bad at work to rest. I made peace with my self and made a vow that I'll be a beacon for others instead of a sponge. Then there was the incident with the stairs, like OK. Now that I've decided to turn a new leaf I'm temporarily disabled. To make things worse, I'm alone. Well loneliness is everyone's constant companion, absent only on certain occassions. Its when I wanted to show people around me that I am now trust worthy, the craziest things happen. Jinx or not I'm planning to get over it, immediately. I just needed to rest this foot and when I come back, work will be my forte, perfection my recipe, assisting those at work my passion and caring for my angel my mission. This is a pledge to those who gave me a chance and to the heavens above, a pledge with conviction a desire to rise above the negativity around me. If a lot of people around can do it so can I and this time, yes this time I am true and honest to myself. I'm done being mediocre, being temporarily insane.

This time I have a focus a catalyst for bad to be good, and I promise you my angel this is true. I will be your rock this time. This time no excuses, I'm going to take care of you as long as you are here. I feel its not gone but rather now I feel your care your golden hands at work. This time making me realize that I should do things for the better and things for the wiser. Yes you are right, maybe I grew up too soon but now I'm all grown up and should be mature about it. Not just emotionally but mentally as well. Technical things you learn from school and work, but lessons in life only by encountering them. You've been my greatest teacher and biggest fan, now that you've released the tether, now that I'm cast adrift I will prove to you I can navigate my way through the stormy seas, that this time around I can guide you straight back to shore, no worse or tear, no fears no hesitations. I am here for you as you did the same for me before. I know this is your way of helping me, because I can still feel the beat of your heart and it still beats for me. I will carry us through, our dreams will come true, honestly my love will show you this and make it real for you, for us. Give me that grain of trust and I will make it grow in strength with branches that can support us, our lives and aspirations. That I ask of you, I know I've been crazy but never evil nor did I flutter to another garden because of fragrant flowers, but stayed here trying to cultivate what we have. Now I know my methods are antiquated and have faltered through time. My biggest mistake was being to comfortable, but now its time that you lay back and I take over the reigns. This time it will be different, this time I will make you happy and proud of me. My dearest angel I love you.

From Chloe Sullivan to Clark Kent...

2007-06-26T02:31:00.000-07:00

The most romantic line I got to hear
from Smallville Season II, Episode:
Fever. As Chloe pours her heart out to
an unconscious Clark.

Its a message I know we all can relate
at one point or another.

"So in yet another classic maneuver to
avoid emotional intimacy...

...I wrote my feelings down so that I
could read them to you...thereby
avoiding embarrassing eye contact.
(sigh*)

I want to let you in on a secret. I'm
not who you think I am. In fact, my
disguise is so thin... I'm surprised
you haven't seen right through me.

I'm the girl of your dreams
masquerading as your best friend.

Sometimes I wanna rip this facade like
I did at the Spring Formal...but I
can't, because you'll get scared and
you'll run away again.

So I decided that it's better to live
with a lie than expose my true
feelings.

My dad told me there are two types of
girls...the ones you grow out of and
the ones you grow into. I really hope
I'm the latter.

I may not be the one you love
today...but I'll let you go for now,
hoping one day you'll fly back to me.
Because I think you're worth the wait.

Fireworks

2006-12-02T17:05:00.000-08:00

For Once In My Life

2006-12-01T19:29:00.000-08:00

A line I thought I'd never hear again or use for that matter. Yet here again, these words are coming from me and this time they have a different meaning. A different context to a chapter I wanted closed, a chapter I almost forgot, well almost...

Remember, it was the same season, the same month a year ago. That's too long ago, a lifetime for me. However, it's still very clear, very real and coming back. I never thought I'd see you or hear from you ever again, and here you are knocking at the threshold of my heart, asking to be let in.Is this real, is this really you,you have changed a lot since we've crossed paths, since that time...that moment... To be honest it's a surprise, yet it's good to see you again finally, it was just a matter of time I reckon.

I remember when I saw you, I didn't even recognize you, you reached out and called and to my surprise there you were. The object of my affection a lifetime ago now just a heartbeat away. I thought it would be simple, just a "Hi' and a "Hello," to my surprise you pursued me. A flame long gone, being callously reignited, looking for embers that may burn bright as day once again for you.

An invitation, a plea, a surprise call, all of which I dread. Because knowing I don't feel for you anymore, neither do I have the heart to crush your dreams and tear your heart with what I know I would say. I guess you already have an idea of what my reply would be. I'm sorry, I just can't tell you personally it'll kill me to see you in pain or seeing your flames of hope extinguished. I may no longer be yours but I know you are a great personand I don't have the heart to hurt you, you were dear to me and you at least deserve that respect.

For once in my life, I can now decide and I am free. I'm so sorry, I know we have been through a lot and I said and I guess we've agreed that if we were meant to be we will find each other. However, I guess that's not the case anymore. I have found where I rightfully belong and I gave my heart to someone else. I know you sacrificed a lota and that you still feel for me. I don't want to betray anyone so I cannot agree nor consent to what you propose. I did trust you before and that was broken, it doesn't affect "the now" but more of how special I feel for this new person. It breaks my heart that I know I might be breaking yours, we used to perfect together now this person perfects me in more ways than one that I fel whole, complete, I just hope you can respect that fact as well. I'm not crying anymore nor am I torn, I found my peace and my love. I hope you find yours as well, goodbye and thank you.

THE MAN OF STEEL

2006-11-26T02:39:00.000-08:00

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Just SUPERMAN, through the years, definitely not just your average comicbook. Enjoy!

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Heartfelt this time...

2006-11-25T08:11:00.000-08:00

Hm...Heartfelt this time. I know I'm suppose to be happy, ecstatic and superbly glad. However, there are just some things that weigh me down. I tried to be nonchalant, maybe I do great job at it so it never can be deciphered from the surface. Sometimes just can't help but grow numb to all of it and when you do feel something you tend to lock it away, or worse, lock it inside.

Sounds like a rant in the making, I guess, but it's not. I almost thought that one of the most important people in my life would seem rather happy that my career is taking off again, a fresh start. However, it seems that this person is not, I believe. My small success is a big milestone for me and triumph for us. But, as per this person's words,"23,000 lang sweldo mo, good luck, mag-bingo ka everyday kung gusto mag-abroad." Whoa! It stung like an angry bee, and believe me I've been stung a lot when I was a kid. The thing is it hurts a hundred fold because it came from someone I trust,someone I care for. Like warm knife cutting through melting butter, it hit me and WHAM! After telling me I should go for it and get this new job I hear these words...it could make all the bricks come tumbling down.

I understand, you have lots of dreams, and I want to be there for you and help them come to fruition. My only concern is if I'm a part of them, and I'm not just a part of your life in passing. I down want you to be shadowed with what I have, I'll gladly step down if you ask. You've always been my priority and maybe you'll see I did this for you. The reason I'm working hard, the reason I want to do great and the reason I am inspired.

I've missed you a lot lately, even more so when it came to that part of the month we remember and celebrate what we have and be thankful for it. I've learned to grow up because of you, and I'm grateful for it. Sorry if there were no cards, gifts or anything to remember those last two lunar cycles. The thing is, though I did not forget them, I deliberately tried to make you notice I forgot the most recent. I know its a stupid attempt to concern you, a foiled plot to solicit a "called for romance." I've been wishing hard for a card or a note maybe, I guess I should have seen it coming a mile away, its not your style. Pero not to compare nor to torment myself, sa mga previous ones you had, you did. I'm just assuming maybe I'm just around too much or if I'm lacking?

I know you are really a good person, devoted to your family and friends, that you go through lengths for them. I have faith you will do the same for me, it hasn't been tarnished by the "Jedi-Knight Fixation" you had. Although I must admit, it really tore down a lot within me. You are not lacking, just a little detached from my stand point. That it still boils down to maybe, oh I guess pride? The mere fact that you can sit idly and not return the calls nor the messages when we all know to well you take time to reply to everyone. Yes, I'm hurt badly, it twists my world. I wouldn't say its selfish, because Heaven knows how much of me I have offered in this dance, in this charade, in this treatise. I'm hurt that simple things that you use to exhibit annoys you to no end when I reflect them. I'm just me, I am allowed to err, to bumble and I am not always perfect. I cry too...

I've shown you myself and all my emotions, my love and my trust. If I don't sum up to you then maybe, just maybe, I'm way out of my league and it might have been a different thing we were talking about all of those months back. Maybe I should re-evaluate myself and the choices I've made. It hurts to tell that, I may not have the strength to spill this out in person. Love won't go away but then again I'm just human and could only take so much at a time. I've been honest always, there are others right now expressing their concern and feelings for me, you see I'm tempted, not that I'm downright loyal, its because I'm holding on to my faith in you and the strong feelings that I have for you. I just hope that after all this time you are no longer afraid to love, just take what we have and do not question it, because if it can be explained then it wouldn't be love.

Meeeeeeeeee

2006-11-23T20:01:00.000-08:00

Oh! Moi! Hmm...How do I define thee? I guess I'm your average mild mannered regular hellgod...hehe... Just a person trying live life with the most that I have and make the most of it as well. A soul who wants to prove himself and let others see the otherside of me, like the mystery of dark side of the moon, always there waiting for someone to gaze up and find it.However, I do pack a verbal wallop every now and then. I love listening to people and sharing my stories too, though it may seem like I crave attention by doing so. But, the truth is I just want people to hear enough just in case I might strike a glimmer of inspiration or a sliver of advice with what I say with the verbiage I deliver that I impart on my oh so fabulous rant. Seriously, I love peace and serenity, a lazy day on a hammock, a dazzling sunset by the seaside or tea at the porch. Easy to please, expects less and very amiable.

The flambouyant me, Hmmm.... I'm tall, like everyone else can't notice that. I guess I stand out from the usual crowd, not your typical person, I hate being stereotyped or any inkling that leans toward mediocrity. I can be a motor mouth at times or the silent brooding type, or the adventurous funny me, and/ or the spellcaster that I am. I'm also deep and caring if you get to know me longer or if you get to decide to delve deeper. I'm sooooooper patient. However, if there is a way that I could get what I desire and not wait, then I'll take that, just being practical. Usually it would appear I'm nonchalant on certain topics or situations, but that's just me. I'd want to retain an air of mystique, but then again, when you get to win my trust, you can read me like a Sunday's crossword. But most of alI like having new friends. I'm dependable, funny, well most of the time. I absolutely adore listening to music or strolling or better yet reading or almost anything. I cook pasta, bake cakes and toss salads for my friends. I love collecting stuff (toys, comic books, TV series DVD's & badges). Sounds geekish, well DUH! I mean there's more to me than meets the eye and I won't change because someone says so, this is me and I won't falter. As the old adage goes, "Its better to be hated for who you are then loved for what you are not."

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MY JAPANESE NAME

2006-11-19T18:45:00.000-08:00

I haven't blogged for sometime, and I wonder, is it a writer's block, then again it hit me. I can't seem to fit the stuff that I want with my previous site. So here comes blogger.com/blogspot.com, hehe... Allows me to play around, speaking of which before any heartfelt post, I found this site, you may want to try it just to get a feel and idea how your name would be if you were born Japanese... Oh! Here's my sushi-like name if and when I go Japanese...

http://www.blogthings.com/japanesenamegenerator

Your Japanese Name Is...

Akio Hojo

What's your Japanese Name?

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