My thoughts and feelings at random points in my life, as colorful and scattered as I am... As crazy and as simple as you can see...
Friday, December 1, 2006
For Once In My Life
A line I thought I'd never hear again or use for that matter. Yet here again, these words are coming from me and this time they have a different meaning. A different context to a chapter I wanted closed, a chapter I almost forgot, well almost...
Remember, it was the same season, the same month a year ago. That's too long ago, a lifetime for me. However, it's still very clear, very real and coming back. I never thought I'd see you or hear from you ever again, and here you are knocking at the threshold of my heart, asking to be let in.Is this real, is this really you,you have changed a lot since we've crossed paths, since that time...that moment... To be honest it's a surprise, yet it's good to see you again finally, it was just a matter of time I reckon.
I remember when I saw you, I didn't even recognize you, you reached out and called and to my surprise there you were. The object of my affection a lifetime ago now just a heartbeat away. I thought it would be simple, just a "Hi' and a "Hello," to my surprise you pursued me. A flame long gone, being callously reignited, looking for embers that may burn bright as day once again for you.
An invitation, a plea, a surprise call, all of which I dread. Because knowing I don't feel for you anymore, neither do I have the heart to crush your dreams and tear your heart with what I know I would say. I guess you already have an idea of what my reply would be. I'm sorry, I just can't tell you personally it'll kill me to see you in pain or seeing your flames of hope extinguished. I may no longer be yours but I know you are a great personand I don't have the heart to hurt you, you were dear to me and you at least deserve that respect.
For once in my life, I can now decide and I am free. I'm so sorry, I know we have been through a lot and I said and I guess we've agreed that if we were meant to be we will find each other. However, I guess that's not the case anymore. I have found where I rightfully belong and I gave my heart to someone else. I know you sacrificed a lota and that you still feel for me. I don't want to betray anyone so I cannot agree nor consent to what you propose. I did trust you before and that was broken, it doesn't affect "the now" but more of how special I feel for this new person. It breaks my heart that I know I might be breaking yours, we used to perfect together now this person perfects me in more ways than one that I fel whole, complete, I just hope you can respect that fact as well. I'm not crying anymore nor am I torn, I found my peace and my love. I hope you find yours as well, goodbye and thank you.
Name: LOUIE Home: Mandaluyong City, Metro Manila, Philippines About Me: Oh! Moi! Hmm...How do I define thee? I guess I'm your average mild mannered regular hell-god hehe. Just a person trying live life with the most that I have and make the most of it as well. A soul who wants to proove himself and let others see the otherside of me, like the mystery of dark side of the moon, always there waiting for someone to gaze up and find it.However, I do pack a verbal wallop every now and then. I love listening to people and sharing my stories too, though it may look like I crave attention by doing so. But, the truth is I just want people to hear enough just in case I might strike a glimmer of inspiration or a sliver of advice with what I meant to impart on my oh so fabulous rant. Seriously, I love peace and serenity, a lazy day on a hammock, a dazzling sunset by the seaside or tea at the porch. Easy to please, expects less and very amiable. See my complete profile
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Ayayu! :*)