I don't know if I'm just unlucky or is it that I'm lucky that I'm a magnet for disaster. Things that I ponder, its just now that I believe you can't have everything. Now that I'm ready for changes and now that I'm willing to change, things happen so fast, amazingly in a flash, today you have everything the next moment the one of most value to you drifts away.

Its not hard to explain it, it is my fault, no questions about that. It was just a few days ago I have put everything bad at work to rest. I made peace with my self and made a vow that I'll be a beacon for others instead of a sponge. Then there was the incident with the stairs, like OK. Now that I've decided to turn a new leaf I'm temporarily disabled. To make things worse, I'm alone. Well loneliness is everyone's constant companion, absent only on certain occassions. Its when I wanted to show people around me that I am now trust worthy, the craziest things happen. Jinx or not I'm planning to get over it, immediately. I just needed to rest this foot and when I come back, work will be my forte, perfection my recipe, assisting those at work my passion and caring for my angel my mission. This is a pledge to those who gave me a chance and to the heavens above, a pledge with conviction a desire to rise above the negativity around me. If a lot of people around can do it so can I and this time, yes this time I am true and honest to myself. I'm done being mediocre, being temporarily insane.

This time I have a focus a catalyst for bad to be good, and I promise you my angel this is true. I will be your rock this time. This time no excuses, I'm going to take care of you as long as you are here. I feel its not gone but rather now I feel your care your golden hands at work. This time making me realize that I should do things for the better and things for the wiser. Yes you are right, maybe I grew up too soon but now I'm all grown up and should be mature about it. Not just emotionally but mentally as well. Technical things you learn from school and work, but lessons in life only by encountering them. You've been my greatest teacher and biggest fan, now that you've released the tether, now that I'm cast adrift I will prove to you I can navigate my way through the stormy seas, that this time around I can guide you straight back to shore, no worse or tear, no fears no hesitations. I am here for you as you did the same for me before. I know this is your way of helping me, because I can still feel the beat of your heart and it still beats for me. I will carry us through, our dreams will come true, honestly my love will show you this and make it real for you, for us. Give me that grain of trust and I will make it grow in strength with branches that can support us, our lives and aspirations. That I ask of you, I know I've been crazy but never evil nor did I flutter to another garden because of fragrant flowers, but stayed here trying to cultivate what we have. Now I know my methods are antiquated and have faltered through time. My biggest mistake was being to comfortable, but now its time that you lay back and I take over the reigns. This time it will be different, this time I will make you happy and proud of me. My dearest angel I love you.

The most romantic line I got to hear
from Smallville Season II, Episode:
Fever. As Chloe pours her heart out to
an unconscious Clark.

Its a message I know we all can relate
at one point or another.

"So in yet another classic maneuver to
avoid emotional intimacy...

...I wrote my feelings down so that I
could read them to you...thereby
avoiding embarrassing eye contact.
(sigh*)

I want to let you in on a secret. I'm
not who you think I am. In fact, my
disguise is so thin... I'm surprised
you haven't seen right through me.

I'm the girl of your dreams
masquerading as your best friend.

Sometimes I wanna rip this facade like
I did at the Spring Formal...but I
can't, because you'll get scared and
you'll run away again.

So I decided that it's better to live
with a lie than expose my true
feelings.

My dad told me there are two types of
girls...the ones you grow out of and
the ones you grow into. I really hope
I'm the latter.

I may not be the one you love
today...but I'll let you go for now,
hoping one day you'll fly back to me.
Because I think you're worth the wait.